Aggression: How to deal with hitting, biting, and more

Why it happens

Shocking as it may be to you, aggressive behavior is a normal part of your toddler's development. Still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped .Let your toddler know that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and show him other ways to express his feelings.

What to do

• Follow up with logical consequences. If your child gets into the ball pit at the indoor play center and immediately starts throwing the balls at other kids, take him out.


• Keep your cool. Yelling, hitting, or telling your child he's bad won't get him to curtail his behavior .In fact, watching you control your temper may be the first step in his learning to control his.


• Set clear limits. Try to respond immediately whenever your toddler is aggressive. Don't wait until he hits his brother for the third time to say, "That's enough!" He should know instantly when he's done something wrong.


• Discipline consistently. As much as possible, respond to each episode the way you did last time. Your predictable response ("Okay, you bit Billy again — that means another time-out") will set up a pattern that your child will recognize and come to expect.


• Teach alternatives. Wait until your toddler has settled down, then calmly and gently review what happened. Ask him if he can explain what triggered his outburst.


• Encourage him to find a more effective way of responding — by "talking it out" ("Tommy, you're making me mad!") or asking an adult to help.


• Reward good behavior. Rather than giving your child attention only when he's misbehaving, try to catch him being good —


• Praise him lavishly when he verbalizes his desires and, in time, he'll realize how powerful words are.


• Limit TV time. Cartoons and other shows designed for young children can be filled with shouting, threats, even shoving and hitting. Try to monitor which programs he watches, particularly if he seems prone to aggressive behavior.


• High spiritted, give him plenty of unstructured time, preferably outdoors, to let off steam.


• Don't be afraid to seek help. Sometimes a child's aggression requires more intervention than a parent can provide. Remember, your child is still very young. If you work with him patiently and creatively, chances are that his pugnacious tendencies will soon be a thing of the past.